Any choice you make -any decision -will benefit from 10-10-10. We all want to lead a life of our own making. But in today’s accelerated world, with its competing priorities, information overload, and confounding options, we can easily find ourselves steered by impulse, stress, or expedience. Are our decisions the right ones? Or are we being governed, time and time again, and against our best intentions, by the demands of the moment? A transformative new approach to decision making, 10-10-10 is a tool for reclaiming your life at home, in love, and at work. The process is clear, straightforward, and transparent. In fact, when you’re facing a dilemma, all it takes to begin are three questions: What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes? In 10 months? And in 10 years? Sound simple? Not quite. Recounting poignant stories from her own life and the lives of many other dedicated 10-10-10 users, Suzy Welch reveals how exploring the impact of our decisions in multiple time frames invariably surfaces our unconscious agendas, fears, needs, and desires — and ultimately helps us identify and live according to our deepest goals and values. 10-10-10’s applicability is uniquely broad. Whether it is used by college students or busy mothers or senior business executives, artists, government administrators, or entrepreneurs, 10-10-10 has shown its effectiveness in decisions large and small, routine and radical, consistently changing lives for the better. Readers of O magazine discovered this pragmatic and innovative idea when Suzy Welch first introduced it in her column. Now, in this immensely useful and revelatory book, she fully explains the power of 10-10-10, a transformative idea that can replace chaos with consistency, guilt with joy, and confusion with clarity.
Suzy Welch on 10-10-10 Parenting
I’ll never forget the first time my husband saw me use 10-10-10 with my four kids. It was back in 2001, and the six of us were standing around in the kitchen as I fixed dinner. Jack I and had just begun dating and, not surprisingly, the 11-and-under crowd was acting up. Finally, the shenanigans got so bad that Jack left the room, purportedly to check a baseball score.
And when he snuck back a few minutes later…tranquility had been restored.
“What the heck did you just do?” Jack whispered to me, incredulous.
“We just had a little conversation,” I replied.
“You mean, you threatened them?” he suggested. I burst out laughing.
“Allow me to introduce 10-10-10, Jack,” I said. “It’s how I raise my kids.”
Today, 10-10-10 is how Jack and I–and thousands of other parents–bring understanding and joy into our families. It’s our philosophy and our practical guide. How? Well, 10-10-10 is a decision-making process. Applied regularly, it gives parents as a team a shared language to talk about choices and their consequences, in matters both major and mundane. It surfaces values and expectations. It diffuses crises; it teaches responsibility. Invariably, it increases trust. And best of all, it does so swiftly and with remarkable ease. Now, I realize parenting can’t ever be easy. But I assure you that 10-10-10 makes it easier. Indeed, you only have to see 10-10-10 in action once to discover, as Jack did back in the kitchen that day, that parenting can be transformed for the better, by how we decide to decide.
The Top Ten Facts of Life College Forgot to Teach You
1. Everything you think you know about your career will seem thoroughly amusing to you in a couple of years, if not sooner.
2. That’s because, despite your best intentions at the moment and the desperate hopes of your parents, your career path will not be a straight line. Instead, it will zig and zag, over many years and rocky terrain, as you inch ever closer to the work you were–yes–born to do.
3. Such work will touch your soul, fill you with meaning, put you in daily contact with people who get all your jokes…and always feel just a little bit too hard.
4. You can find the work you were born to do more quickly and with much less angst if you know your authentic values from the get-go.
5. Discovering your authentic values is easy. All you have to do is ask yourself three questions that will make you squirm.
6. At the very same time that you are trying to make sense of your career, you will also be trying to figure out something even more important and more confusing. Love.
7. Despite your best intentions at the moment and the desperate hopes of your parents, your love life won’t be a straight line either.
8. You can, however, find a happy ending more quickly and with much less angst if you understand the “The Theory of the Third Force” from the get-go.
9. Understanding “The Theory of the Third Force” is easy. All you have to do is come to grips with the fact that loving your partner isn’t enough. You have to love your relationship too.
10. Finally, as you make the crucial decisions that will help build your career and find love, remember this. School teaches you that life is about success. Life teaches you life is about happiness.
(Photo © Deborah Feingold )